The thing about me is I'm an ear saxophone player! I'm pretty quick, but have big gaps in my knowledge about theory and am a horrible site reader. It gives me terrible anxiety to step into a room with a new song that's charted.
Which is what Hungry March was working on last night! I was so intimidated and insecure that I kinda ruined the fun for myself.
But, 1/2 way through the rehearsal they were playing a New Orleans style tune and one of the trumpet players came over and whispered to me- you take t next solo....
Oh God!! No!
IOVE soloing and I thrive on it. But sometimes I fall really short and bomb it.
This time I didn't...it was ok. Passable but far from brilliant! I made it through without a bomb so I felt better.
Up until then I was full of fear but that solo dispelled it a bit. I could relax, I had proven myself to myself in a small way.
I really feel this way/// almost everytime I step into a rehearsal room with new people. It's like I have something to prove - prove to myself first and then them. ...Or maybe just them....
Last night I just HAD to go to the Hungry March rehearsal, even though I didn't want to, even though I was going to torture myself, even though I can't site read.
It's no coincidence that I have my Bari Sax out now, and by my side is the Rubank Elementary Method for Sax.
One step at a time I'll beat this ignorance!