Wednesday, December 5, 2018

instability fuels artistic crisis!

I'm knitting knitting knitting this winter away. I've made 4 shawls and 2 scarfs and am giving them all away. The shawls have gotten increasingly thicker- like Moroccan Carpets at this point. All different colors; like little tapestries.

Well, idk why it has happened. but i'm having an artistic crisis. I dread even going into the details so please forgive me. The deal is I want more. More fun, more music, more love. More understanding better gigs and less hassle. I want people to understand me; and when they do I want them to leave me alone.

What goes up must come down. There is a paradox going on here! I strive to do different things and to challenge myself, and when I do I stress myself to the max and end up hurting myself (like my back when I made the glass umbrellas for the city this year) Or my shoulders when I joined the Cinematic Symphony last year- they still haven't healed. I hurt them tensing up trying to do something that I've never done fluently: read music. It was too hard. It's going to take some time to get better - but tell my body that.

This opens up a channel inside too: for inspiration! For me to listen to you and learn. To FEEL inspired by your achievements. I love that feeling. Rather than the other: envy. So, let it roll please.

Please tell me how you've conquered your fears, your illnesses, your heartaches. What you've done, how you've dealt with it, how you changed or modified your thinking. Thanks for sharing!