Thursday, November 20, 2014

The making of Erodica! The record is nearly done, its aftermath continues...!

First of it's going to drive me crazy! Because people will pronounce this title as E-R-O-T-I-C-A, because the T sounds like a D. But it is really pronounced: ERODE-ICA, blending the words "Eroding" with "Erotic"... which had been my life for awhile when I went to NYC for a month this past February to write this record with Raindogg.

Raindogg and I met in Austin. He found my DD Dagger profile on Reverbnation where he was looking for a singer to perform in a musical about his Grandma from Brooklyn, who was black, and a hustler. I was thrilled. I listened to the music that he had made in the past with the lovely Ms. Kassy Key. It was different than my music but there was a common thread and a vintage sound that I liked.

I was so excited about the musical. We met for a meeting about it and I met the other actors and a musician friend of his.

Then we got a show. We played the show. It was fantastic, all Raindogg songs and a couple of DD Dagger ones. I had a blast, his band was really good and they didn't eff around. I was terrified, as usual. I learned the lyrics it took me forever. I hate memorizing lyrics.

I needed an editor. I had just shot a video with my dancers, he edited the video.  Just like that. It was amazing, he was great.

We did a couple of other collaborations and then I got an email. Moving to New York in December. OUT OF THE BLUE>

What about my MUSICAL?? I've been waiting all my life!

...I am going to write part 2 tomorrow. For now, I'm going to lament that I'll never get to sing in this musical, on the bright side::

This great record was written with Raindogg and though it is laced and layered with heartbreak, I am very proud of it.

we're releasing the songs one at a time, as singles. Here is the first single: listen:

xox dd

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

just because just because just because

"Just Because"

Well, well, well,
Just because you think you're so pretty,
And just because your momma thinks you're hot,
Well, just because you think you've got something
That no other girl has got,

You've caused me to spend all my money.
You laughed and called me old Santa Claus.
Well, I'm telling you,
Baby, I'm through with you.
Because, well well, just because.

Elvis: Just Because. I have always loved this song. My first band Deep Sombreros used to cover it. Peter took the country out of it and made it more jump blues. Ian and I took solos. Always fun. 

Just because, just because just because popped into my head while painting. Why? I don't know that shit just happens sometimes. I listened to the lyrics. Do they have something to say to me? 

Just because I went to a knitting circle at 10 am this morning and chatted with all older women who have been around the block and are wise,  and who seem to be very nurturing and sweet: and above all, can show me how to knit like they can knit: reading patterns, isle knitting, expanding my patience to more complex patterns. So rad. It's time. 

Just because I have been looking at myself through a healing lens so that I might be better 

Just because I'm an artist.  Just because I'm an entertainer who doesn't make a lot of money, but who has great ideas and can execute....

Just because my career has simultaneously never been more active and my daydreams never been more still....

Just because: A thing is just a thing not what someone thinks of that thing. BIRDMAN!

Just because this blog got almost 600 hits last month! LOL

Just because the Grant Brothers and I are reuniting for the first time since '2000 to form a new band and that 2nd rehearsal is tomorrow...

Just because this is my 6th self portrait and my internal critique has lessened...

Just because Just because just because 

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Self portrait number 5 // the owl hoots. Is it talking to me?

These portraits remain difficult. This is portrait 5. I am so glad I can put paint down on a page but I'm no illustrator, never have been. I actually do better with photos but I'm not allowing these selfies to be photos - the goal is to look at myself; and I can't say my thoughts during this exercise have been a very fun place to hang. Sorry to self! I feel bad about it but what can I do?

Besides looking deep and feeling hard, these days I've been appreciating those that love me and my amazing friends that support me. I do love myself! I work hard at it. Did anyone ever say it would be easy? Thank you for everything.

If you ever saw me on stage and thought I was gliding through life, that the choices I've made were easy, that I get to live out my dreams - wait !! I do get to live out my dreams. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. 

I'm posting these ugly unfinished portraits for you to see. That's all. It's uncomfortable. But when I'm done? I'm done. When I get over something I really get over it. My heart is forgiving, and I don't stay mad....though it might take awhile. If somehow posting these is helping me process- well I'm just not sure yet. I almost gave up tonight.

There is this owl hooting outside my window as I'm writing. I don't hear them often but it's been here a couple of nights in a row. It's loud! And it's been raining constantly for 2 days.

I hope he is living in the big oak tree at the back of my yard. Maybe he is a reminder of the fleeting nature of things. Or a Note to my wiser self. Maybe he is looking for a mate! I only hear one.