Thursday, November 20, 2014
First of it's going to drive me crazy! Because people will pronounce this title as E-R-O-T-I-C-A, because the T sounds like a D. But it is really pronounced: ERODE-ICA, blending the words "Eroding" with "Erotic"... which had been my life for awhile when I went to NYC for a month this past February to write this record with Raindogg.
Raindogg and I met in Austin. He found my DD Dagger profile on Reverbnation where he was looking for a singer to perform in a musical about his Grandma from Brooklyn, who was black, and a hustler. I was thrilled. I listened to the music that he had made in the past with the lovely Ms. Kassy Key. It was different than my music but there was a common thread and a vintage sound that I liked.
I was so excited about the musical. We met for a meeting about it and I met the other actors and a musician friend of his.
Then we got a show. We played the show. It was fantastic, all Raindogg songs and a couple of DD Dagger ones. I had a blast, his band was really good and they didn't eff around. I was terrified, as usual. I learned the lyrics it took me forever. I hate memorizing lyrics.
I needed an editor. I had just shot a video with my dancers, he edited the video. Just like that. It was amazing, he was great.
We did a couple of other collaborations and then I got an email. Moving to New York in December. OUT OF THE BLUE>
What about my MUSICAL?? I've been waiting all my life!
...I am going to write part 2 tomorrow. For now, I'm going to lament that I'll never get to sing in this musical, on the bright side::
This great record was written with Raindogg and though it is laced and layered with heartbreak, I am very proud of it.
we're releasing the songs one at a time, as singles. Here is the first single: listen: https://soundcloud.com/raindogg/erodica-by-dd-dagger-feat-raindogg
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
These portraits remain difficult. This is portrait 5. I am so glad I can put paint down on a page but I'm no illustrator, never have been. I actually do better with photos but I'm not allowing these selfies to be photos - the goal is to look at myself; and I can't say my thoughts during this exercise have been a very fun place to hang. Sorry to self! I feel bad about it but what can I do?
Besides looking deep and feeling hard, these days I've been appreciating those that love me and my amazing friends that support me. I do love myself! I work hard at it. Did anyone ever say it would be easy? Thank you for everything.
If you ever saw me on stage and thought I was gliding through life, that the choices I've made were easy, that I get to live out my dreams - wait !! I do get to live out my dreams. I'm not sure what I'm trying to say.
I'm posting these ugly unfinished portraits for you to see. That's all. It's uncomfortable. But when I'm done? I'm done. When I get over something I really get over it. My heart is forgiving, and I don't stay mad....though it might take awhile. If somehow posting these is helping me process- well I'm just not sure yet. I almost gave up tonight.
There is this owl hooting outside my window as I'm writing. I don't hear them often but it's been here a couple of nights in a row. It's loud! And it's been raining constantly for 2 days.
I hope he is living in the big oak tree at the back of my yard. Maybe he is a reminder of the fleeting nature of things. Or a Note to my wiser self. Maybe he is looking for a mate! I only hear one.