I need women in my life to guide my thoughts, love me, like my clothes and go shopping with me-- but I have to say::::
We have a mother fucking hard ass time getting along you bitches!
This is what I mean:::
We're competitive, frightened, egocentric, passive aggressive, downright mean and nasty behind closed doors and sometimes in front of them. I'm so tired of the caddy bullshit that I wrote a song in homage to one of my haters: Cat Fight. I sing it with some parts anger some parts fear, and I made the band play it in such away that it's not cute and furry- but dark and heavy. It's not cute when two girls hate each other because on the other side of that hate is probably adoration and love. But, the ill will gets in the way and voila- signals crossed.
Creative women have to work hard at it- and by that I mean working together in bands or creative projects. When women work together it's a beautiful thing! It shows in the performance.
For instance I have been made aware by fans when I'm the only female on stage - as if it's something to be proud of, like I must be amazing if the dudes let me play with them. And sometimes I like that too:: being the only femme up there.
But mostly I'm concerned with players that work at what they do and get along. And don't be boring! I dislike boring people both male and female.
I'm not sure what I'm saying here.
I know I have female nemesis out there. I know that those nemesis are all creative. I know that I'm either jealous, hurt, or confused by their mixed messages, their hot and cold personalities. I know it has nothing to do with their talents or how talented they are. I love surrounding myself with the best.
All I know is I perceive them to give me bad vibes, and then, over time, in turn, I turn on them as well. I give it back and then : boom - creative nemesis. It varys over time and I've seen it get well and change, and appreciate. But mostly it stays the same for years on end.
It makes me miserable that there's no healing, that I haven't healed, but that's life.
As I turned the key to my door after another amazing show played downtown, I heard my dogs barking. I thought briefly about my dogs. They don't like everything or everyone either.
But they LOOOOVE me! That is clear.