Sunday, October 26, 2014

Seriously today- who gives a shit!?

Today. Who gives a shit!? I am tired of being tired and unmotivated.

This portrait flew out in about 20 mins, after a beautiful messenger communicae with Fernanda via Sao Paolo. 

She was a comfort and a muse: and discussed her desire to move to Berlin and work for a time. 

F and I met in New York last Feb. via Andre- Andre I met on the Internet through music. He came to Austin and we shot my first solo record cover together, for "Femmie Auteur" in 2009. He shoots incredible black and white photography, and they are both about 10 years younger than me. 

When I was in NY for a month Andre connected us- me and Fernanda. She was there doing a job for 6 months in Branding. I still don't know exactly what she does, but she is a brainiac. 

Andre is right. Her and I are kindred spirits. I am not a brainiac. I am a bohemian. But I love working too: on art and music. I love studying too: music and art. 

Fernanda lifted my spirits talking about coming here for SXSW 2015. She said I could follow her to Berlin. I want to sing Cabaret, I will find a gig. Dreaming is all that it should be. I see about 3 months there, 4 - 6 if I want to learn to speak German.

Prior to the late night chat with Fernanda I was bargaining. I wanted my old boyfriend back. I wanted to move to NY despite the lack of trees. I wanted to play in the difficult Marching Band and I was thinking ¿what if I had a kid.?

Those thoughts flew out the window when the dreams of Fernanda's Berlin flew in. 

And now the old ideas seem - eh - a couple miles away. 

My job is to study music and work on my graphics jobs and not sit on them too long so I can stay in the $$ flow. 

If I can make it here I'll make it anywhere. 

-feeling humbled
-cleaning my house
-eating better today
-less crying than yesterday
-amazing and talented friends
-a long, quiet evening 
-too much facebook
-time for bed

Goodnight dreamers.

There are a whole lot more Andre photos! But I'm going to bed.

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