I'm going to do 10 self portraits for 10 days.
Why? I asked myself. Because I want you to look at yourself, for that time, in the mirror, and find what you see. Oy vey!
I know what I feel: empty. The immense loss, a divorce.
But what do you see?
In Tonight's portrait I see a young woman, younger than I expected. I see some fearful eyes. I see a slight look away. I don't think I see myself.
I have not done a self portrait in a very very long time. I felt them, after art school, self indulgent I guess. Of course occasionally I would do one. But now I think back the last one was during an immense time of grief: I painted myself crying with a grackle in my hand:: my sister had died.
That was 10 years ago! I am never over her death, of course, but my grief today is no longer about her- she is with me always.
Today's portrait is kind of stiff. It doesn't look much like me. But I'm not into censoring myself. So this is the first attempt.
Oh. I also see an abstract line going through my head. I am split....
...and I think I have a headache now.