In three minutes the alarm will go off. I've been up all night, and for nights on end really. My spirit is quite thrilled with the state of things, so very much that it doesn't want to rest.
Ug. Jennie and I are at a hostel and I have Bob Marley on the earphones to literally drone out the hurricane orchestra of snoring that Jenni is infamous for.
Our car got locked in a parking garage leaving us in Tarifa unexpectedly for this night. This is surfer town with a bunch of hipster surfer Europeans. I think we all wish we could stay longer and meet people but we pushing on.
I have been reflecting at my burst of art luck; traveling to foreign countries to play, getting to play ACL this year, and singing with two different country musicians on records (more later I don't want to jinx) and a new record that I'm so proud of.
.....but it has not always been. How did I make it through that traveling drought that lasted 5 years? I went nowhere I was too broke, and or I didn't have anywhere to go. Or I didn't want to go anywhere I'm not sure what happened, but I had a long period of vast creative nothingness exciting; which for me is rather intolerable.
I was depressed, yes, and I think this is a period following my sisters sudden death; and I was good to hang onto my own life, not drowning just as she did.
Ironically, the descent to fun now, 10 years in the making, started with a little church my husband and I bought in the country...in Bartlett, TX.
It was a Victorian manse he found online, and he got excited. We went out to see it: two properties across from each other; one a huge Victorian house that was falling in but still had a ton of charm.
The other, a property I bought myself:: a little house on the prarie church with huge clear stained glass windows on all sides.
Bill was selling the two places; about 50g each. He worked in Fort Hood for the army but moreover, he was a psychic medium.
Walking around the two places, he asked me-- do you have someone that passed over that looks like you? I don't want to scare you (the place was filled horder style with a ton of crap; and a piano)
...but it's terribly distracting. She's running around; she's playing on the piano right now she's so excited for you about your new church.
I'm sure I burst into tears. It has been 2 years since her death and I was a shell; going through the motions; playing guitar in a band I started called the Easies, simple garage rock.
He said I know nothing about music, but she wants to tell you something. It might be hard for me to explain it to you.
He described the neck of the guitar, the head, the tuning pegs. He said your sister is pointing to these things; she said, "you sound like crap."
"You need to set up your guitar" change out those pegs for better, set the action. I was playing a red Epiphone full hollow body made in Japan in the 90's.
He said a lot more things, about how depressed I was, she was worried about me. He said things only she would know, like when we were high in Barbados and with my cousins on a family trip, and a guy tried to give us a ride. They all wanted to go into the car- we were lost.
Well, I actually was the only one that was high out of my mind but I got a bad vibe. She said (through Bill) you saved our ass.
Anyway, only things my sister would know. A drought of shitty shows, and no traveling insued while I went under trying to pay for the church - I was broker than I have ever been.
I stayed in touch with Bill for years; and he, with a couple others, guided me out of that joyless funk.
Yesterday in Tangier, all us musicians were in a rug shop. I'm obsessed with Persian rugs - like my dad.
I went up to the top to look more. I was there alone with the sales men.
They rolled one out for me. Prayer time happened, it was 5:30. The Muslims started singing....
I hit my knees Amd streached out my arms and said give me a minute.
I connected; I said thank you. I said sorry I have been in joy land for so long, in a sensory hurricane of music and earthly things. I said thank you God.
After 5 mins I got up. The sales man said why are you crying???
I said you all connect 5x a day.....