Erodica:: The Video Is OUT! Featuring Raindogg and DD Dagger

For the Erodica video (pronounced ERODE-ICA) Brooklyn Producer and Editor Raindogg takes us on a retrospective of the coolest Punk Rock spots in NYC in the 90's, eroding their hipster vibe back to reveal what it was, what it used to be: dirty, gritty, and abused. Spot Tompkins Square Park, CBGB's, ABC No Rio, the Physical Graffiti Building, Bleecker Street, 42nd Street and St. Marks. While Raindogg was just ”Waiting on a Friend" he found her, DD Dagger.

a word about sexuality. a word about MY Sexuality....

Something awkward happened to me the other night when I went to meet Derick to dance at a blues club near my house.

An acquaintance that I worked for many years ago, when I was in my mid 20's who was playing bass on stage came to give me a hug. He might have been tipsy. He said, you and those grandma glasses:: You act so good. I know you ain't!

I'm like, what? Yes I am. I'm just the same old girl you always knew. I said, "I'm just the girl next door."

It was weird. I was thinking, wtf is he talking about? I'm thinking he must be talking about the photos. The art photos I do with Wolfson and some of the other art photog's I work with that are periodically posted on FB and wherever. Mainly Wolfie's. They can get rac-y, but never any boob or anything even! They suggest a sexuality. A sexuality that exists in every human being! LoL.

Regardless, let me tell you:: this might be a surprise if you don't know me.  That is a character. That is not me. Just like the character I present on stage. I mean, it's ME but not really.

It's an ACT PEOPLE.

I'm an entertainer and that is part of the entertainment. I move like a dancer cause I am a dancer, and sometimes that is sexy.

allow me to use this phrase again: 'Let me tell you' I am a human being. I am a sexual human being like all others. But I have said before, I'm more Woody Allen than Karen O. I am NOT wild. I am not terribly adventurous. I'm not even an extrovert though I fear I'd be more successful if I were. I have had to cultivate a character that is interesting to me, for the stage, for photos, so I can sing my songs and be interested in it myself.

Maybe it's interesting to me cause it is SO different than me. DD Dagger is NOT Allyson Lipkin. It is a part of her, and that name is so not me I can't believe I have stuck with it and I don't know why I have chosen it.

It maybe suggests a strength that I have had to muster. A fighting sense. Have I mentioned being a live performer (but particularly a front-woman songwriter) is a challenge in ways that are psychological? Kind of like challenging yourself to a very hard-core cross country biking trip or a marathon. A marathon with no end....

I know some wild people. I have a dominatrix that lives at the corner of my block. She has a slave for a boyfriend! LOL I have no clue to these things. I wrote and recorded an album called EROD-ICA. Crossing erotica and eroding together. Come on.

I'm just a nice Jewish girl! LOL Well, just another Jewish Priestess.

Photo: last month: the incredible undeniable Todd V Wolfson Austin, TX

photo: ed verosky: NYC 2014

a pair of the infamous grandma glasses at the old Austin City Limits

photo by Ed Verosky: NYC 2014

PHoto Jerry Milton

photo: Raindogg Brooklyn

another pair of the infamous grandma glasses. Photo: Jerry Milton this week in Austin, TX

Going to War with Energy: an Empath walks into a room

I'm always amazed that the amount of people who don't know what an empath is: 

em·path

ˈempaTH/

noun

1. (chiefly in science fiction) a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.

Being an empath doesn't mean you have good intuition (though one might) or that you can read minds. It means you can read energy! The state of things, the state of a person:: you FEEL it. Even if you don't want to. 

We're not psychics, mediums or healers, though one might also have those qualities. 

It means when I walk into a room: especially a healing space, or somewhere where I feel vulnerable, I can feel the energy and, unfortunately since I'm me, I go to the negative person in the room and absorb it. I've done this incessantly at my live shows and I have had to close my eyes or look away or down. 

It hasn't happened in a long time since my band is so badass now: There's no denying it! I feel very confidant with a solid army behind me. 

Imagine how it sucks when you have a psycho (in my favorite healing space) that hates you! Seeths bad energy! Not only is it energetic, She has pushed me too: out of the way. Been nasty in front of people: It is not in my mind. 

This has been my experience about the last 5 years in my favorite recovery meeting.

I have/had done everything! Stepwork, Energy Cleansing, EMDR, meditation: and though these things have helped me, THAT BITCH STILL IS BAD NEWS! She is still giving off the same bad energy, and I'm absorbing it. I even wrote a song about it, Cat Fight. (coming out in a couple of weeks) I will post it later after its mastered. I wrote it this time last year. 

One who is not an empath might say, "just ignore her!" And trust me I have. The problem with my untrained empathy is I don't know how to remove my antenna: It's stuck on "on". I won't go into the neurosis about why It's stuck. 

It seems particularly bad when I'm upset, vulnerable, someone died, or I am in trouble. 

I am so sick of it! The other day my antenna got stuck on and I couldn't get focused on my recovery meeting. I signed my divorce papers this week, and things have been very unstable. 

This is a weird thing too:: she's gorgeous! She dresses just in the style I like! So it's a mind-fu$# because she's so visually interesting to look at. But what a sociopath inside! It confounds my brain. 

Anyway, I talked to a former roommate of hers about her, cause I knew they had had a falling out. She also goes to my meeting. She also has been upset at the way this girl gives out terrible energy to her, and acts like an emotional vampire, sucking the goodness out:: one breath at a time. 

She affirmed that this girl does this same thing to her, but just sometimes, she'll throw a curve ball and be NICE! What a psycho-biatch. Who needs it. Oh guess what? My friend has NO IDEA WHY, what she did or what happened to her to change her status from "roommate" to "Hated-bitch" They never even had an argument. (She is gorgeous too, btw)

We agreed to have a signal for each other- (she is ALSO an empath) a Peace sign. We're going to shoot each other a peace sign if we are having a hard time focusing, if the energy in the room is bad, or simply if we've had a run-in with the dreaded gorgeous psychopath. 

It's like going to WAR every time I walk into that church basement. I have to put my psychic armor on. Block myself from the ammo, and retreat.

The making of Erodica! The record is nearly done, its aftermath continues...!

First of it's going to drive me crazy! Because people will pronounce this title as E-R-O-T-I-C-A, because the T sounds like a D. But it is really pronounced: ERODE-ICA, blending the words "Eroding" with "Erotic"... which had been my life for awhile when I went to NYC for a month this past February to write this record with Raindogg.

Raindogg and I met in Austin. He found my DD Dagger profile on Reverbnation where he was looking for a singer to perform in a musical about his Grandma from Brooklyn, who was black, and a hustler. I was thrilled. I listened to the music that he had made in the past with the lovely Ms. Kassy Key. It was different than my music but there was a common thread and a vintage sound that I liked.

I was so excited about the musical. We met for a meeting about it and I met the other actors and a musician friend of his.

Then we got a show. We played the show. It was fantastic, all Raindogg songs and a couple of DD Dagger ones. I had a blast, his band was really good and they didn't eff around. I was terrified, as usual. I learned the lyrics it took me forever. I hate memorizing lyrics.

I needed an editor. I had just shot a video with my dancers, he edited the video.  Just like that. It was amazing, he was great.

We did a couple of other collaborations and then I got an email. Moving to New York in December. OUT OF THE BLUE>

What about my MUSICAL?? I've been waiting all my life!

...I am going to write part 2 tomorrow. For now, I'm going to lament that I'll never get to sing in this musical, on the bright side::

This great record was written with Raindogg and though it is laced and layered with heartbreak, I am very proud of it.

we're releasing the songs one at a time, as singles. Here is the first single: listen: https://soundcloud.com/raindogg/erodica-by-dd-dagger-feat-raindogg

xox dd

Keeping Austin Weird or Keeping Austin Austin?

I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!

It's tough to see my fellow peeps in pain, and I saw one such amazing bass player friend of mine today at a coffee shop. He is going through a major life transition right now. Ejected out of his house that he'd been living in for 15 years due to a mold infestation and the severe deterioration of his health. He was paying next to nothing in rent. Now he's forced to join most of what Austin is today: a terribly rough housing market.

I don't know how we do it. And by that I mean managing our lives while still finding inspiration to make art out of nothing. My friend said, "I'm going on tour tomorrow for three days - to me, that is normal. I've got to feel normal again." LOL this of course means living in a van, eating on the road, sleeping in friends or fan's homes, but travelling, playing music and being with your homies.

The Willie Nelson song "On the Road Again" comes to mind.

It's true we've all manifested our own lives. I don't believe I'm a victim of my circumstances and in addition to that I'm always thinking of ways I can make some cash to get going or doing something.

I currently am invited to tour with friends in Italy this October but I'd be paying my own way- it would be more of a workation - than a tour, but I'd rather travel by playing music, period. It feels better to me.

This trip would/will be amazing and I might do it- but I'd like to manifest a situation where I'm being paid to do just the same. I'm not sure how to do this: but I'm starting with a simple statement:

I believe that taking lessons and practicing my site reading will lend myself to higher paying gigs. I'm nodding, to myself. Yes this is true for me.

The question I've been hearing lately around a lot among artistic and musical circles is this: We are going to get pushed out of this town. That's not an exaggeration, and it's not hysterical - if you want to be an underground artist.

If you want to do architecture or build houses for a living and you happen to play music, you'll be fine. If you want to continue to make the music you like to make and it doesn't happen to be Taylor Swift or the like, you will be eating beans. There is about I would guess a 3% chance you're not going to eat beans.

If Austin wants to keep it's cultural roots and not turn into something that looks like Deep Eddy in Dallas or The Riverwalk in San Antonio, they're going to have to keep coming up with ways to help their artists. I really believe this.

Some ideas: 
-an emergency stipend for rent/bills for WORKING (not slacker) musicians. I'm kind of harsh about this: you should be working as an artist, but I'll let the gatekeepers deal with that.
-An artists co - op of of duplex or condo's. A 90210 for artists of all types. Partially City-Funded (not art businesses I believe there is that going on already)-- See the Canopy.
-That's all I got. I've got to go pick up my animal from Emancipet. He got a ((FFRREEEEE))) surgery from the mobile clinic:: SNIP SNIP. Found him running around like a mashugana on the East Side in front of Arlan's on Airport.

So - see - we fund for animals. If we didn't there would be 1,000,000 more dogs and cats on the streets running wild. More disease, trash, poo-- catch my drift?

Let's start getting real about taking care of ourselves and our communities. If Austin wants to "KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD" it's going to do more than build up the huge establishments on South Lamar, keep air cranes in the downtown sky, and build up condos no one I know can afford.

It's going to have to keep a balance of what's weird and cool in our little community (the creative people - duh) with what's going to bring in $$$.

When Creatives go Psycho on you:: Democracy People!!!!

This is not new or unique to me!

This happens to me mostly with women!

Another creative meltdown. Another creative loss in my community, and by loss I mean to me.

Out of the blue this week, 6 months later after a performance, a seriously close creative collaborator  sent me a venomous email which I believe to have little or nothing to do with me.

What it said? "You disrespected me" "You don't appreciate my talents" "you are self-centered" (true but not a crime) "you only call when you have drama and I don't want to hear about your crap" (so untrue)...

Maybe this Pistol is having a meltdown maybe they are manic. I know I am. And I can't take it. Blocked! Out. Done and I feel better. It's over.

 I'm kinda numb. I learned a lot from this person, but they aren't well right now. Neither am I.

The last thing said by them was, all on facebook: "You can't take any criticism that's not kissing your ass, can you.." I mean -- what does that even mean? I won't be bullied.  Not by anyone. Man or Woman.

I take criticism all the time - my band gives it. But they don't call me names, try to pick ugly fights or trump up charges that I was mean and nasty and disrespectful. Cause I'm not. And if I am snappy, I apologize asap. I'm not perfect I get fussy and/or frustrated sometimes. Live music is rough. Keeping a band (AND DANCERS??) even tougher. Without a budget??? OY VEY.

I'm always conscientious, though, and when I'm nasty I usually know it because I feel bad. I apologize. For the record I apologized to this one, but they wouldn't have it. BURN BABY BURN! They burned the Bridge.

I've prided myself on being the best bandleader I can be. When I quit something, I don't have to blow it up to pieces. I don't have to, because there is a way to communicate in an honest way that I'm done. I might be angry about it. But I won't be forever.

Here are some ways to communicate you don't want to do a creative project anymore:

1. This has been a learning experience but I don't have time or the mental space for it right now. Best of Luck.

2. I'm sorry I can contribute to this anymore. (you don't need to explain!)

3. Something doesn't feel right to me and I have to trust my instinct on this one.

4. I don't feel comfortable with this krewe.

5. I thought I would be a good fit but I'm not, and I thank you for inviting me to perform.

6. I have to focus on myself and what's best for me. Good Luck!

(If I am angry) 

7. The way you've spoken to me was unacceptable. I don't work like this.  We're not a match. Best of luck.

I don't need to blow shit up or list the crap that I don't like because if they're acting machugana they can't hear it anyway.

This is all fine and understandable. Maybe the project people or the band will be hurt for a bit (maybe I'll be hurt)  but let it go, I have let this stuff go-- and it's getting easier to navigate an angry disagreement.

DEMOCRACY PEOPLE! 

Not everyone is going to like what you choose to do, say, act out, or perform. But you can't go psycho about it. You can't control other people.

Another more amazing performer will come along that's the right fit - or You (I) We can take a different direction or approach.

Sometimes it's just not meant to be forever. But I'm still happy it happened. I'm also happy it's over.

I feel better now, I feel good and that I did the right thing (for me) and I'm sure they did the thing that THEY know how to do.

I'm blogging more-- deal with it!

I was thinking about music and musicians -- again. 

I went to a healer today. He loves working with blocks in creativity and music. And though I'm "in the flow" I have been pretty negative lately. 

Here are my negative notes from the underground::

1. Please get better! You're 40 and still playing at the level that is lower than many elementary children? Practice more and dream less. 

2. If you are awesome, and know you're an amazing player, you're not fun to play with, you can't share the stage and you have an ego problem. Don't get near me!

3. It is hard for me and rough on my ego but my Dagger band: I promise to forever pass the tip jar around during and after the set- we made an extra $69 (yes how lovely) because I insisted on going around the club begging for $ & €. (I did cop out the second half and get Phil's girlfriend to do it but hell- it's the best I could do) Is $69 nickels and dimes? Yes! But that stack of cash is nice to give out to the band so they can go get tacos for breakfast-- and treat their boy/girlfriend.

4.The bar Manager loved my set quote, "that was pretty fucking awesome" so I gave him a cd and asked him to put it on the jukebox. I'm a million years old and I said jukebox! 

5. Instead of shouting out "be sure to tip your bartenders people" which for some reason annoys the shit out of me, I said how are those drinks Y'all?? Yell if you love Firehouse! I'm sure that equally annoying. But this bar DOES do specialty cocktails and they do work so hard on each drink....of which as usual I had zip not even a virgin piña colada. What's wrong with me?

6. It's not uncommon for me to avoid the bar all night long and not drink a single thing. I loath waiting around that bar it feels like a cattle call. 

7. It is true!!! I got off my scooter with sax axe on my back and bag of framed art AND props and the door guy (with a line of people to get in) said hello Ms. Dagger and let me cut on in. I totally felt like a rockstar.

8. Please God I want to tour Catalan again please please after Honk! NYC I will do anything!

9. The healer said I was Brave (in that I faced the music -- lol) in regards to my problems and I believed him.

10. He said genuine love had been given/passed to me and that could I feel it? I couldn't at the time. 

It was a free healing session. It was lovely, but hard work. Healers are very weird and like many therapists some are very whack in their own right. But these guys were really cool- and it's free Wed 6-9 and Sunday 2-5 at Casa De Luz. 

Go check it out. I'm blogging more so I can get my thoughts out and refine them.

Goodnight! 1:37am Sunday night

Ms. Dagger

Next show:: Minor Mishap at the Mohawk Downtown ATX

If you can do anything else besides music....

I am trying to better myself. I have taken up (again) saxophone lessons with the amazing Austin Guitarist, composer, sax player Shawn Jones. (The Lovely Sparrows) With the focus of (well, everything) but mainly site reading.

As a sax player in the big band Minor Mishap my band leader Datri Bean always has music for the Bari Sax to play. At first I would just ear everything like I do in all my other bands, and learn my part via one of the other 3 or so woodwinds. But, I quickly realized that Bari is always on harmony, rarely on melody. So ear-playing other people's parts did a disservice to MM. I wasn't playing what she wrote. And her parts are amazing, so full of harmonies. I ended up relying on my bandmates to use their spare time to walk me through my part. It was frustrating for me-- though they're SO NICE about it.

Anyways, I've done another article about my fear of site reading when I was sitting in with Hungry March in NYC. I desperately didn't want to look like a fool - they were presenting a new song that rehearsal. So I digress....

The point of this musing is that my teacher and I were discussing his other students who are seniors in high school - they are working on most difficult material for their honors - or all state or whatever it's called! They are studying some really hard stuff.

At any rate, he told me that most of them look to him for guidance about what to study in college. They have been working on this for 4 years! And this is the pinnacle.

What does he say to them?

"If you can be happy doing AnYTHING else besides playing music you should do it."

I totally agree. Because like Shawn I'm driving the same car I have driven for 10 years, I hustle gigs every week, and I often go without so that I can have my days free to create.

This relates to me because fortunately or unfortunately (and I've tried) I don't think I can be happy doing a 9-5, not being free to create. I've tried it. If had the best jobs- they coolest bosses, and some ideal situations.

Just a thought I constantly process. Can I be happy doing anything else?

...Show tonight super awesome band - props, dance and all - at Firehouse Lounge 10 - 12. I'm pretending we're in France - circa Toulouse Lautrec.
DD Dagger photo below: Isaac Soloman: Marfa, TX

NYC (Chelsea) Studio Shoot with savvy photog Ed Verosky // and instructional video on You Tube

Fun, talented, and ambitious NYC based photog Ed Verosky took some time with lil old DD Dagger in his Chelsea photography studio last week.

I met Ed about 4 years ago right before he and his wife made the move to NYC to pursue a full time creative life in the Big Apple.

I could definitely tell a difference in both of us when we reunited for the first time since our last Austin, Texas shoot -- in 2010! We've both improved in style and taste. Ed for his skill and direction -- for me it was precise and very helpful. Lead with your eyes. I needed to hear it! For me: I had more fun, felt more confident, and was more loose and free.

I had a ton of fun. He has a passion for music and musicians (just my luck!) and it is obvious he still, after 20+ years of shooting, likes to have fun and goof around.

See the instructional video he made here: and subscribe to his YouTube Channel! See all the shots Here:

http://www.edverosky.com/previews/allyson-previews/