Forgive me blogger, it's been 1 month since my last confession

And guess what!!!?

I've emerged out of my state of denial into another state! Fear of my Bari, fear of my sax. I was noodling around on my very entertaining little Bb Clarinet, a Penzel Muellar Artist, when I realized I could blow out Klezmer solos, bend all the notes, and sound like the Jew I am + Gypsy.

The way you can bend notes on a clarinet is obviously why it is commonly the first choice in Klezmer tunes. I've been studying to my favorite Klezmer band of all time : The New Orleans Klezmer All Stars. 

That Clarinet player is BOSS. (ON Manichalfwitz) my favorite record. What he can do on that clarinet I've rarely heard. Anyway, at our last Minor Mishap practice I brought the clarinet to play around, and to get a real clarinet play to assess its tone. Well, no clarinet players showed up that day.

...A clarinet solo was coming:: in our song Marigny, so I snuck over, got it, to to my surprise I blew out a little solo that sounded Jewish. And no one was expecting it.

Later, Datri called me on another solo - on the Bari - in another harmonic minor song - and I could NOT bend the notes, I could NOT sound so much like a Klezmer. I was hurt.

The Bari does not want to be something it is not. It wants to be a grandpa, a husky low end. The notes are far apart on it for my littleish hands, I can't move them that quickly for all the years I've studied sax, and the upper register left hand keys sound like crap. I can't stay in tune.

Alto, I love you. I think that you are cute, little alto, as you sit on your stand - so easy to hold, so easy to grab.

You Bari, you take more effort. More effort to hold, more effort to blow and manipulate. But you demand attention, and you get it. I thank you for that.

I need to figure this out...is it simply a matter of skill? Personality? Determination?

While in my first year of playing the bari, about 4 years ago, people used to ask, Is it SO HARD? I always said, NaH! It's like butter! I was cocky. I was in denial. I've hit a glass ceiling and I'm going to have to rehearse my way through it.

It could be fun. But most likely...

....Sigh....

How to: survival of the fittest in a 25 piece brass band

It is Fat Tuesday! Happy Mardi Gras from the Big Easy. This city does not sleep, and I can't find anything green in the French Quarter, the Marigny, or the Bywater!

And I have stopped eating I think. For now.

I have come back to the crib for a big green drink that I have made myself, and some quiet time. Luckily, I have run into Master Matt Hubbard, and I'm going to see his band tonight at the Three Muses. He is in a trio and the main guy plays Vibes. I'm stoked that there is more amazing music in my future; but for now I had to get off Bourbon Street. I was 2nd Lining with Panorama Jazz band but I had to call it off after a couple of hours. 

I don't drink, and since I have stopped drinking my system has become way more sensitive. And, maybe I have a couple of extra health concerns but mostly I have ants in my pants. 

I can't stay too long at any one place! I would rather walk/bike 3 miles back home to make a green kale drink and read my book and play clarinet for awhile. 

God bless is a nap in my future? Anyway, the rest of my band mates are still reveling out there in the masses and masses of people. 

My sax is out of whack - it always is at this juncture, it is a big baritone and inevitably gets knocked around. 

The other morning I woke at 5:30, marched for 3 or so hours in the Eris Parade, and then another 5 hours in the Thoth Parade. I was almost ill. I collapsed in the bed in a coma, while the energizer bunny known as Jeff Luna who was my comrade the entire journey drove across town to pick up my truck uptown. 

How??? Where does the fuel come from? Then, after an hour nap we met up with all at the country club (in past years all nude) for a much needed soak and a steam. It was glorious! Except it's not nude anymore. LAME.

One thing is I have really allowed myself to revel in the joy that people experience During Carnival. Yes, many are wasted and that can illicit anger within me in excesses. But this year I have danced more, costumed more, played the hell out of my horn for days on end and soaked up the amazing musicianship that exists here. I will come home tomorrow charged with chords, arpeggios, and a new desire to better my playing. 

Happy Mardi Gras wherever you are. 

When I say Minor Mishap has "changed my life" I mean it...

Like WHY? How? 

As I rummage around my house looking for yellow and black costuming for our impending Mardi Gras week, I put a Pete Fountain record on the player. It sets my bluesy mood and literally brings in the blues. I'm crying now! OH THANKS. 

It's important for me to reflect be thankful and grateful for the things that bring me pleasure and joy. I don't always feel that way, but I do now so I'm rolling with it. 

The band that is Minor Mishap (I know I talk a lot about it on my blog so go to a freaking show already!) has impacted me a lot and here's how. 

In 2012 I had just completed a near impossible feat of recording, producing, releasing and doing a big live performance and video release to celebrate Radixxx, DD Dagger's second record. I was EXHAUSTED and needed a break from it. A lot of things had been really stressful: Musicians being flakey, venues screwing up, extreme pressure on myself, and my dancers acting meshugeneh and stressing me out. 

I opened a space up for something new, and one day I went to lunch with The Wizard at Mr. Natural. We an into Thomas Van Der Brook and Jeff Luna. They invited me to play! They were looking for another sax. I had just bought a Baritone! See how that works? (as a side note soon after they recruited me they both took an indefinite hiatus from the band:( )) Jeff has since rejoined on sousaphone and we drivin together to NOLA in 2 days. !!!

Blah blah onto the part that's interesting. I'm already bored with this post. 

Here's how the band has CHANGED ME

-I feel changed inside. LOL

-I didn't know how great a huge band family could be. doctors, a scientists, amazing teachers, profoundly great musicians and people convene in this band. Besides that I'm pretty needy, so there's that. 

-Street art has become a big part of my life. I wrote a grant for the City of Austin around that concept this year and now will be producing some street music and art of my own composition with Rachel Weiss. (dancer, amazing)

-the extreme joy and surprise that I see on people's faces when we do a homemade parade in East Austin is enlivening to me. Many years of bar rock had worn on me. Don't get me wrong: I love playing in bars. But it has its limitations. 

-I'm a profoundly better sax player than when I joined 3+ years ago. In fact, I had put down the sax for about 4 years to play guitar. BORING plus I sucked. But my songs are good. 

-my soloing has turned a corner (it was always my favorite part) and now I pick notes out of the air like the empath I am.

-This band got me through my divorce this year. The whole time I was in so much pain. The music was a great diversion for me, and the support was so great. 2 people in the band were also going through a break up, 2 very loving and important people to me. Divorcio. I watched them (throat choke!) move through it with grace, love, and care and I have tried to act within that spirit as well. We've made it! The new-millennium divorce is complete, friendly and loving. 

-I get to tour more!  Love it. I don't know if I've conveyed how I feel. I guess you'll see the revelry from my pics on the streets of NOLA next week. BIG BANDS RULE go buy and instrument and practice till your lips are blue. 

xoxox

I wish I were Black

I know it's not PC to say that. But walking the dogs through my neighborhood tonight DA EAST SIDE!!! there was a smokin' party going with full on DJ, bright lights, and rap music and people hanging out on the front porch. No white-ies.

The sound system was SO GOOD, the lights very funky, and I loved the rap song they played. I had no idea who it was. I wish I was more versed in new rap/hip hop music.

Something like...."things is on my mind, not be all the time, thinking sometime In MY CITY!" those weren't the words but the chorus was something like that. Very catchy.

Can't I be black instead of Jew? I could blow the soul out of my horn. I could BLOW BETTER! Have a fro, wear bright pink lipstick like Rhianna, wear big gold "ghetto" jewelry...EAAAWWWW I already do that.

I want to play sax for a rapper like that -  something good. Just putting it out there. And please be black if possible.

It reminds me that I missed Pharcyde this year by a pinch, at SXSW. Which has gotten SO HUGE that bands like Pharcyde were playing at a small club on Rainey Street.

Instead, who did I catch? Freaking Asher Roth the most hideous stupid overhyped whitest frattiest sorority induced rap I've ever heard. I hate his music. It an embarrassment to the mainstream.

That's who I caught. I was PISSED! HO well. BTW his show was terrible.

Minor Mishap is leading a procession to Stubbs where De La Soul is playing this halloween and I hope that gives us entry.

That will have to dooooo!

So tonight, on the way to a gig at the Continental Club with my dear Minor Mishap, I will blow the soul out of this white jew's Bari.

It will have to doooooo!

If you can do anything else besides music....

I am trying to better myself. I have taken up (again) saxophone lessons with the amazing Austin Guitarist, composer, sax player Shawn Jones. (The Lovely Sparrows) With the focus of (well, everything) but mainly site reading.

As a sax player in the big band Minor Mishap my band leader Datri Bean always has music for the Bari Sax to play. At first I would just ear everything like I do in all my other bands, and learn my part via one of the other 3 or so woodwinds. But, I quickly realized that Bari is always on harmony, rarely on melody. So ear-playing other people's parts did a disservice to MM. I wasn't playing what she wrote. And her parts are amazing, so full of harmonies. I ended up relying on my bandmates to use their spare time to walk me through my part. It was frustrating for me-- though they're SO NICE about it.

Anyways, I've done another article about my fear of site reading when I was sitting in with Hungry March in NYC. I desperately didn't want to look like a fool - they were presenting a new song that rehearsal. So I digress....

The point of this musing is that my teacher and I were discussing his other students who are seniors in high school - they are working on most difficult material for their honors - or all state or whatever it's called! They are studying some really hard stuff.

At any rate, he told me that most of them look to him for guidance about what to study in college. They have been working on this for 4 years! And this is the pinnacle.

What does he say to them?

"If you can be happy doing AnYTHING else besides playing music you should do it."

I totally agree. Because like Shawn I'm driving the same car I have driven for 10 years, I hustle gigs every week, and I often go without so that I can have my days free to create.

This relates to me because fortunately or unfortunately (and I've tried) I don't think I can be happy doing a 9-5, not being free to create. I've tried it. If had the best jobs- they coolest bosses, and some ideal situations.

Just a thought I constantly process. Can I be happy doing anything else?

...Show tonight super awesome band - props, dance and all - at Firehouse Lounge 10 - 12. I'm pretending we're in France - circa Toulouse Lautrec.
DD Dagger photo below: Isaac Soloman: Marfa, TX