Practicing Patience::: zzzzzzzz boring.

Last night I went on a late night bike ride. I put on my favorite mash-up Fela Soul https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PDg8YyFzMw it was lovely. I had had a hard day, my emotions have been all over the map.

I've been telling myself that I'm less than, I've been doing a lot of "Compare and Despair" LOL. That says it all. It's not a race, this life. My triggers are my career (music mainly but art too) two very difficult paths.

Which brings me to my thought today about myself. I am very impatient. I'm the one with road rage cause I'm always in a hurry. (For that I work from home and drive as little as possible) I think sitting in traffic is such a waste of time and my brain starts to short circuit....

I also have no patience when it comes to the timeline of my dreams of successes. I want it all now and even if it's coming, it takes so long to get here that it's already not enough. I look at people and wonder how they get their ideas for the amazing things that they do.

I want to do amazing things! I want to be a part of a community of amazing happenings! My fellow creative calls this "FOMO" or Fear of Missing Out. Apparently I'm not alone if there is a new english acronym for it! LOL.

Bike riding last night was WONDERFUL! It's too hot here right now to ride during the day. I focused on focusing on the road.

I had a song idea this morning and I'm just thinking about how to settle into this patience that I desire. In the meantime, I temper my thoughts. I take Chinese Herbs (they work I think!) get acupuncture, and try to be me.

I have another idea: I am going to do a portrait series of wonderful women: They're nudes. I would take commissions, but if you know of an amazing woman artist, musician, activist, or local celeb I'll take suggestions. I have the first model: Datri Bean, my amazing and talented band leader in Minor Mishap. She'll have a rose in her hair, and hold her kitty.

Happy Saturday.

If you can do anything else besides music....

I am trying to better myself. I have taken up (again) saxophone lessons with the amazing Austin Guitarist, composer, sax player Shawn Jones. (The Lovely Sparrows) With the focus of (well, everything) but mainly site reading.

As a sax player in the big band Minor Mishap my band leader Datri Bean always has music for the Bari Sax to play. At first I would just ear everything like I do in all my other bands, and learn my part via one of the other 3 or so woodwinds. But, I quickly realized that Bari is always on harmony, rarely on melody. So ear-playing other people's parts did a disservice to MM. I wasn't playing what she wrote. And her parts are amazing, so full of harmonies. I ended up relying on my bandmates to use their spare time to walk me through my part. It was frustrating for me-- though they're SO NICE about it.

Anyways, I've done another article about my fear of site reading when I was sitting in with Hungry March in NYC. I desperately didn't want to look like a fool - they were presenting a new song that rehearsal. So I digress....

The point of this musing is that my teacher and I were discussing his other students who are seniors in high school - they are working on most difficult material for their honors - or all state or whatever it's called! They are studying some really hard stuff.

At any rate, he told me that most of them look to him for guidance about what to study in college. They have been working on this for 4 years! And this is the pinnacle.

What does he say to them?

"If you can be happy doing AnYTHING else besides playing music you should do it."

I totally agree. Because like Shawn I'm driving the same car I have driven for 10 years, I hustle gigs every week, and I often go without so that I can have my days free to create.

This relates to me because fortunately or unfortunately (and I've tried) I don't think I can be happy doing a 9-5, not being free to create. I've tried it. If had the best jobs- they coolest bosses, and some ideal situations.

Just a thought I constantly process. Can I be happy doing anything else?

...Show tonight super awesome band - props, dance and all - at Firehouse Lounge 10 - 12. I'm pretending we're in France - circa Toulouse Lautrec.
DD Dagger photo below: Isaac Soloman: Marfa, TX